All I Ever Wanted

This Summer was not a vacation.

This is probably the first time I've directly engaged the Fellowship in one of my thoughts, but I couldn't stop thinking about the opportunities that were missed this summer. It's unreasonable to imagine the program would work perfectly - there's a human element flowing throughout - but a tragedy bigger than the hours of long conversations missed out on, problems going unreconciled and the gradual pulling away from the group that some do is that some of the people involved will have seen this Summer as a break. A vacation. A chance to get away.

But this summer isn't a break from normal life, it's a starting point toward looking at life differently. If the program was merely a break, it would be ultimately pointless - in the same way that some diets are; instead of changing a person's lifestyle and eating habits, diets give a person a momentary break from his or her routine that is wasted once the person reverts back to older, bad habits. This program can not just be a fad diet.

It can't because the principles involved are non-negotiable. Loving yourself. Loving all human beings. Asking hard questions and giving honest answers. These things don't belong on a snappy brochure tauting the wonders of a two month retreat; the belong in the hearts of each individual.

I feel like a decent number of people that spent the summer in our wonderful house will go back to their "real lives" unchanged. It's the easiest way after all, just as living for the program was the easiest way while living in the house. Everyone else was doing it. It's harder work to carry the thoughts and ideals of the program back home to Kansas, Texas, Oregon, Indiana, Florida, North Carolina, Oklahoma and parts unknown.

Yet that's what must happen. And it will happen for some. I hope it happens for more than less.

But it won't come that naturally. And the question I never heard anyone ask during the summer was, "How is anyone supposed to live life this way?" In the context of a Summer getaway, its simple. But how does someone live like that year-round? How do you keep vigilant in applying the ideas of the Fellowship everyday for the rest of your life? How can we constantly be loving?

Is it really all that difficult to do?

I'm not so sure it is.