In Restless Dreams I Walked Alone

It's going to be quiet around here.

That's what I'm realizing - the shift from Cornerstone, a million people crammed together striving for each other, to a single apartment on the East side of Capitol Hill has been a jarring one. Brett and I are domesticating. Getting a lot of good conversations and our fair share of silence in.

Now more than ever I realize why Marty and the gang would choose the lifestyle that they do. Living with my girlfriend in Los Angeles was remarkable for how lonely living with someone can be. Even now with Brett, the clamor of twenty people at dinner seems to be a welcomed change from cooking dinner for two. Maybe it has something to do with Kristen and Kimsey's cooking, though...coming home from a hard day's work to a home-cooked meal is never a bad thing.

Why is silence so awkward? I've gotten to a point with Brett where we can sit and be comfortable not talking. It seems though that you have to work hard to get to that point with a person. As if every moment spent in silence is a chance missed to connect or impress with words.

I want to surround myself with friends. Good ones. Finding them is much harder than I would have thought. Perhaps I'm just picky or perhaps the ones I love seem to fly off to other destinations, but it's hard to find people that I like spending time with. It's also hard being alone. Harder for me than I'd like to admit, especially with the air of mystery my love of privacy and independence brings with it.

If we were together in the same room, could we sit in silence and be comfortable? Can you do that with anyone?

Sort of more autobiographical and rhetorical today. Thoughts are turning inward. But I would love to know where your thoughts are turning. Especially since you've got transitions of your own to deal with.