Lao Tzu

Can you have faith and still doubt?

After a pretty severe discussion last night with an atheist friend of mine, I started thinking about the concept of the empty cup. In Eastern philosophy, the empty cup is how you must approach all things before you can become enlightened. It makes a lot of practical sense. You cannot come into the room to learn with your cup already full, for to fill it, it must be empty. My friend's cup seemed decidedly full before we began talking.

I'm a natural skeptic. I like to keep things in focus long enough to make a tentative decision on them. In the end, the things I cannot know, I admit to, and the things I can, I strive for a deeper knowledge of. This leaves me with good ideas, but not ones etched in stone. So of course for last night's discussion, I played devil's advocate as the Christian apologetist (never thought I'd combine those two things).

Some of you know that I've done it before, successfully. Last night, I wouldn't consider a triumph. I took the side of religion in order to facilitate questions that never came. It was absurd for God to exist. It was laughable that people would believe in something. It was cruel that religion had ruled with such an iron fist. At any rate, her mind was made up on the subject.

Most notably, she had a problem with Evil (a pretty standard complaint) and she felt that if something was unprovable and undisprovable, then it must not exist. I'll admit I got frustrated.

But I was more frustrated that someone wouldn't come into a conversation as an empty cup.

The more I think about it though, the more I feel like its a luxury only afforded to the atheist. Some don't use it, which is sad, but others, I feel, don't even have the choice. Can you walk into an argument openly questioning the existence of God and still have faith in Him? Can you call yourself a person of faith and still ask that fundamental question alone in your room? In short, can you not completely be sold on His existence and still believe in Him?

I've said before that one of my biggest complaints with religiosity is its closed mindedness. No matter how free some thinkers are, they are still bound to be closed on that one fundamental. Most Christians that I've spoken with won't even have a discussion on whether God exists or not. He does. End of story. Next question. When you start from that base, you begin the discussion with your cup at least partially full.

I find this odd, especially considering that faith is not a question of the Mind but of the Heart. So is it possible to have your heart made up on something, and your mind not? Are Faith and Doubt mutually exclusive?

The crux of the question is whether someone can openly say, "I believe in a higher power, but sometimes I don't know if that belief is correct." Of course we never know if our belief is correct, but I've yet to hear a Christian profess this. I feel like this could be due, in part, to a fear of the abyss. Staring into the chasm of doubt, opening up a Pandora's box of questioning God's existence is something that the believer might not come back from. I certainly haven't. At least not yet.

So I went to bat for Christianity last night. I swung out considering the goal, but as always, looking at things from a separate perspective gave me insight. I'm wondering if a Christian arguing for Atheism could benefit in the same way. Perhaps it would strengthen that belief in earnest. Maybe it would wash off the dust of the soul. Maybe it could make them just uncomfortable enough to really feel the joys of their ethos again.

It is my sincere hope that you approach today with an empty cup (and everyday, frankly) ready to be filled. Carrying a full cup makes the walk harder, and you inevitably end up spilling it on others who may or may not have a Tide To Go Pen handy. Before bed, take a look down, and you'll notice that your cup probably filled to the brim. There's not left at that point but to drink it down, breathe it in before a good night's sleep and leave it empty for the next day.