The Carpet Baggers

I'm not a fan of disappointing the nice lady on the telephone.

What's more, I'm realizing that a lot of my definition of myself comes from not letting people down. I can think of little I hate more than having to apologize - not for a mistake or indiscretion - but for not being able to come through on something that I've promised I could. Letting people down. I think most of us hate doing it. It means you've come up short on something, failed, and even though people are understanding, you can tell they're displaced by your faults.

What's worse is when it's something that's owed to them, and you're just the messenger.

I'm currently juggling between a very nice woman (who is trying to appease her boss) and my boss. The details are meaningless, but the overall picture is one of me trying to stay afloat while apologizing sincerely for something that isn't my fault. It's no one's fault really, unless you mean ours. And yet the people that will pay the price are the kind-sounding woman on the other end of the phone and her boss. In the end, I'm hoping to reach a compromise that will be agreeable to everyone, but that means little for the initial damage. Whether I like it or not, I've let these people down. I've shown a tragic vulnerability.

How many times have you failed at a promise? Not refusing to do it, not going back on it, not breaking it. Simply being unable to do what you thought you could? Being shown your limitations through the lens of a spotlight shining on you alone on a stage with an entire audience of yourself packed into the auditorium? Those glaring moments of inequity.

I hope they are rare. Few and far between. But still, they're unavoidable. When the time comes for you to fail, the key is to take it on the chin. Be true to yourself and stay humble. Realize your limitations for what they really are - just another sign that you're alive and doing fine. That you're human.