Off the Grid

Last night I got to listen to my outgoing voice mail message for the first time ever. I didn't even realize I had one, because a few year's ago I switched to the robotic voice blithely spouting out my number and informing listeners to record something sweet and meaningful after the tone. I was under the impression that I'd never recorded a new one.

However, after making fun of a friend of mine for sounding like he sold out - a punk rocker with the most polite message you've ever heard - he turned the comment back around on me.

So I listened to it.

I sound like a tool.

So one of many goals that we've made for each other this week is to change our voice mail message. I'm not sure that it has to be a radical change, but it needs to be one that moves away from sounding so tool-ish. Some of my friends would say that's impossible for me. I'm open to suggestions.

At the core of it is a need to change something very small, something very basic that is also a cornerstone in my life. Think about how many people hear that message a day - how many people from friends to strangers that have heard that voice and made a decision based on it. It is something small, but it's also a way that we represent ourselves - putting our best electronic foot forward. For the time being, I have what would be considered a very good message, calm, polite, professional sounding - but this is not who I want to be. I want to be myself, even for a small moment in time that is replayed over and over again during the day.

I remember noting the change to adult-hood with many of my friends as the days when their phone messages changed. The excuses were simple - awaiting calls from med schools, from Law programs, from potential clients, from colleagues now in the work force, from an interview with a major company.

Whatever the case, "Do what the lady says" followed by that ever-present electronic female informing me that in order to leave a voice mail, I needed to press 1 - was replaced by "Hi. You've reached James. I'm not here to answer your call, but if you leave a message, I'd be happy to get back to you as soon as possible."

And what's worse - we all have the same basic message. You've reached us. I'm unavailable. I can't get to my phone right now. I'm away from my phone. Please leave a detailed message. Leave your name and phone number. I'd be glad to get back to you. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Have a great day. Hope you're doing well. Take care.

With so much monotony, is there any reason to have a message in the first place?