The Death of Fun

Here's to fourth times.

Yesterday was our first snow of the season here in DC. It was incredible. While I was down in the lobby watching everyone mill about as if it was business as usual, I had to resist the urge to run out into the street to play in the snow. And yet everyone seemed like it wasn't an important event, like snow was something that just comes around all the time, nothing special, nothing unique.

My attitude toward snow is based, probably, solely on the fact that yesterday was the fourth time I've ever seen it. It was only really the second time I've seen it in such huge amounts - covering everything in beautiful, lustrous white. So it's a rare thing for me. I've not yet grown so accustomed to it that I can look outside at its beauty and only feel disdain for it ruining my travel schedule or making it difficult to walk.

I realize that I get excited by a lot of things that make me seem childish. I took a quick inventory of what I've considered my goals for the past few years, and several things stuck out:

1) To become wealthy enough to build and maintain a Class C zoo fit for keeping two (2) river otters.

This is my top priority. At some point in my life I want to live comfortably enough to be able to sit in a rocking chair all day and watch the river otters play. As a creature with no real natural enemies and no lack of talent in the food-catching department, otters pretty much just play around all day. They are graceful in the water and hilarious to watch on land - never a dull moment.

2) I'd like a large room in my house that's floor is made out of bedding.

I've decided that the walls should be normal - only the floor of the room should be made out of mattresses. I think this would be really useful on a daily basis and for visitors who come to spend the night. What's that? You don't like sleeping on the couch? Well, just sleep on the floor.

3) I want my life to be filled with new experiences and daily surprises.

In this world, I think the only way to facilitate surprise or excitement is to keep a child-like wonder about everything. It shocks me when people don't get excited about the possibilities of technology or the beauty of nature. This stuff is so crazy, so complex, so incredible that it takes a truly hardened person to pass by it with disdain. I told a colleague of mine who always wears these chic, very attractive black dresses to work that I'd like to see her in a lime green sweatshirt in jeans. When she asked me why, I told her that it would be a different experience. She responded that people wouldn't be able to handle it. And I felt like that was sort of the point.

I can't figure out whether this childishness is going to hurt me in the long run or not. For now, I'm just sort of riding the wave of it all. Maybe my goals should be a bit more conventional - a 401k, a family, pension plan, security.

It seems like I'm fighting against the notion of security, though. I love having a job and an apartment. They make me feel safe and secure. But the trade off is a lack of excitement. You have to sacrifice some of the randomness in life to come into work at 9am every morning. And some days, I just want to burst out of the office doors and jump in a big pile of snow.