The Even Keel

Why can't we apply the same seriousness of our dating relationships to our friendships?

I guess this isn't everyone - I know it isn't, as I've been talking with a friend of mine about it, and she disagrees. But I do see the pattern in some people, including myself. We tend to put a different kind of stock in our dating relationships than our friendships.

For some people, I've noticed they have the ability to drop a relationship based on friends' opinions. They so value their friendships that they wouldn't do anything to harm them - and they trust their friends' opinions enough to realize they have best interests in mind. I revel at this sort of commitment. In my time on earth, I've so craved female affirmation, that I've forsaken a lot of my friendships for time spent with a significant other. Somehow, I learned this lesson later in the game than I should have.

My last serious relationship stayed balanced because we both were incredibly busy. However, this caused an imbalance of its own - when we did have free time, all we wanted to do was see each other. Thus, we were either working or together. This destroyed a social life to a certain extent.

But I wonder why this need is so strong. Why lose time with half a dozen people that love you in exchange for devotion from one person? There are obvious differences between dating and friendship, but these differences seem to be disproportion ally magnetic. They seem small, but they can have such strong reactions.

This thought isn't very well defined or articulated. Probably because it's still in the incubation phase. I'm just looking for answers at this point. The only thing I can think of so far is that the love that comes from a relationship is a much stronger drug. Maybe one that takes much more upkeep than a friendship. We hold onto it tighter because we imagine that's what it takes.

I love you all. Wouldn't trade you for the world.